Are You Pretending? Take This Test.

As humans, we do a lot of pretending.

A lot. A lot.

We may pretend that small talk is interesting. We may pretend a problem isn't really a problem. We may pretend that we're not truly responsible for the state of our lives.

If life was an acting class, we'd all get "A's"!

But when we "pretend", we live in a fake world, a world that doesn't exist.  And we can't change anything in a world that doesn't exist.

And we wonder why things stay the same.

It's kinda funny, in a predominantly materialistic world, where possessions are lauded, we humans, really don't want to "own" anything! Well, anything that requires our responsibility, our accountability. 

Of course, it's understandable. For the most part, we've been living in a world that equates responsibility with blame, and shame.

We don't want to posses anything that could land us in hot water.

But here's the problem of shunning ownership of a situation in our lives: If we don't own something, we have no power over it.

It's worth repeating. If we don't own it, we have no power over it.

Quite literally, too. We have no control over something we don't own. We can't paint a car with pink polka dots, if we don't own that car. But if we own that car, we can change it, modify it, improve it, anyway we like. Fun times.

The same applies to anything we're willing to own...a challenging relationship, an unsatisfying job, our self-defeating behaviors.

When we take personal responsibility for everything in our lives, the first thing we may notice is that...it's freeing! The opposite of what we may have thought.

The truth is light, very, very light.

The next thing that we may notice is that...we feel energized! Pretending, hiding, posturing are all very heavy, draining energies.

So, here's the invitation: Own some situation in your life you've been afraid to acknowledge.

It can just be to acknowledge it to yourself to start. Try it on. Own it. Then if you're feeling brave, say it out loud. Sing it. Dance with it. More brave? Share it with a friend? Even more brave? Share it with a person that is directly involved with your newly acknowledged truth.

Then implement wonder.

Get curious about how you may have been subconsciously attracting the situation. How do those energies feel familiar? Where did you learn these behaviors?

Then implement compassion, for yourself, and everyone involved.

Once you're ready, ask yourself what actions and behaviors would set yourself up to receive what you truly desire. What actions and behaviors would reflect your authentic self, as opposed to your wounded, subconscious self?

Breathe.

Let those sink in.

Make a commitment to these new self-loving, authentic actions and behaviors.

And if you falter, give yourself a break. Simply re-commit.

Be gentle. Yet, move forward. One step at a time.

Courage, dear heart.

Frank Gjata

Founder, Conscious Ink